Inspired Thoughts and Random Musings

The Hurting Born
In Honor of His Birth (April 27, 2003)

 

"I can't breathe," I gasp
and push the hands away
hands that prepare
to cut the life out of me
--or is it death?
I saw the fear in their eyes
as I rolled away
and my fear turned to darkness
on the cold, bright room

They told me after
there was no breath, no life
only an absence of color
and yet they fought
--what if they had not?
bringing to life an empty life
hanging on to the hand of God

There in the crib
beneath the wire and tubes
stillness where there once
was so much life
that which pummeled me within
now nearly dead outside my heart

And yet not dead
although the world rushes around him
while he lies unmoving
others keeping him alive
since he cannot

And I wonder how we got here
From where we walked in hope
anticipating new life
and now that life is not
what we conceived it to be

If he survives this death
what will his living be?

But a shadow of our dreams
a semblance of life

The life that was made for him

I cannot expect
I can only breathe

_________________________________________

Child of My Dreams

 

I visited my other life yesterday,
The one where you
Chased the big kids down the street,
Told me stories from your day,
Splashed in the puddles
With your rubber froggy boots.

But in that other life of dreams
Would you be YOU?
Smile so big like sunshine,
Tuck your head in next to my heart,
Offer kisses like you do,
Not just to me,
But to strangers on the way?

A child lost in the crowd
Would not shine as bright as you.
Limitations give way
To possibilities beyond
What I could ask or imagine.

(And I’m sorry I didn’t love YOU.)
But today, I do.